50 Things at 50
A reflective, celebratory list for any age
I was shooting the shit with Chat, and the subject of my birthday came up. Again. (Have you heard? I’m turning 50.) I’m not exactly sure what the output was that led to it (and I’m too lazy to go back and look), but Chat suggested an activity to commemorate this milestone. It feels like part memoir and part future sequel. I thought it was so good that I think everyone should give it a whirl.
As per Chat’s explicit instructions:
This isn’t a checklist to ‘complete.’ It’s a life mosaic: memories, gratitude, joy, and a little swagger. Write what comes up now, and come back later for the rest. You can do it in one sitting, over a weekend, or across your whole 50th year.
· Answer any number (5, 10, 15), and call it done for the day.
· Keep notes in your phone, a tiny notebook, or voice memos.
· Do a few “in the moment” (after dinner, after a show, on a walk).
· Let it be honest. Funny counts. Messy counts. Quiet counts.
Adjust it accordingly for your age — 30 at 30, 76 at 76 — and def don’t treat it like homework. Make it fun, but make it count. I hope you’ll copy it, print it, and share it with your family and friends. I plan to start mine this week. Let me know how yours goes…
I. Memory Lane (1–10)
Things you acknowledge, not relive.
1. A moment you were braver than you realized at the time
2. A version of yourself you’re proud you grew out of
3. A friendship that shaped you — even if it didn’t last
4. A risk that changed your life (quiet or loud)
5. A failure that redirected you in a better way
6. A season you survived and don’t need to explain anymore
7. A compliment you still remember
8. A goodbye that made space for something better
9. A time you chose yourself
10. A moment you didn’t know was “the good old days” until later
II. Gratitude, Grown-Up Edition (11–20)
Not toxic positivity — earned gratitude.
11. A body part you appreciate more now than at 30
12. A habit that keeps you steady
13. A morning ritual that feels like self-respect
14. A skill you didn’t know you’d need — but do
15. A boundary you’re proud of holding
16. A way your definition of success has softened
17. A woman who showed you what was possible
18. A younger person who keeps you curious
19. A place that still feels like home
20. Something you no longer chase
III. Sensory Joys (21–30)
Small, specific, and very you.
21. A meal you never get sick of
22. A smell that instantly calms you
23. A song that still wrecks you (in a good way)
24. Your favorite “doing nothing” activity
25. A texture you love (linen sheets, cashmere, sea air…)
26. A drink that feels celebratory
27. A season you finally understand
28. A time of day you protect
29. A beauty ritual you genuinely enjoy
30. A laugh that makes everything better
IV. Identity, Reclaimed (31–40)
This is the heart of turning 50.
31. Something you no longer apologize for
32. A label you’ve released
33. A trait you once hid and now honor
34. A rule you stopped following
35. A way you’ve surprised yourself
36. Something you’re still learning — and like that you are
37. A truth you now say out loud
38. A desire you no longer downplay
39. A part of you your daughter gets to see
40. A way you define beauty now
V. Looking Forward (41–50)
Not pressure. Possibility.
41. Something you want more of (not better — more)
42. A place you still want to walk through
43. A creative itch you plan to scratch
44. A tradition you want to start or keep
45. A way you want to feel in your 50s
46. A relationship you want to deepen
47. A fear you’re willing to live alongside
48. A version of rest you’re curious about
49. A word you want to guide this decade
50. A sentence you want to remember about yourself at 50
Aging is wild and humbling. I constantly remind myself that even in these dark times, each day is a gift. Being able to grow old is a privilege, saggy bits and all. I’m. So. Lucky.
I do my best to practice gratitude even when it feels hopeless and try to spread kindness. It feels almost defiant at times. “The only thing more powerful than hate is love.” Especially for yourself.
Happy Birthday, you magnificent creatures. xoxo